A few years ago I was taking a nap on Saturday afternoon in my apartment in Shandong Province, China, when my daughter Katherine rang me on the intercom from outside. “Mom, Shei Hanshao and Grace got into a fight. Shei Hanshao said she wouldn’t play with Grace. Then Grace hit her, and Shei Hanshao started to cry. And…well…can you just come down?” Shei...

  We in the China adoption community have our cherished myths. These myths have filled in the white spaces of our children’s histories, filled in the unknowns not covered by the official government papers: the police report, the referral report, and the abandonment certificate. The myth usually goes something like this. Our daughter was born into a poor rural...